ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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