I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
