Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
