You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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