look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
