he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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