Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We have so much sex to catch up on
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
