my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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