So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
