You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just found puke in my bra..
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
