i need an iv and a liver transplant
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
