hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
