just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Life without a bra equals bliss.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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