That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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