i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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