My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
In America we eat man semen.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
