hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
