Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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