A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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