My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
