apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
