He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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