the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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