I'll bet she douches with gravy.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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