i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
