You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Randomize