is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
