who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
