My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
