I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
