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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
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