She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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