you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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