I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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