She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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