Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
