My first STD was from a foam party
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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