well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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