I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
