so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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