Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
