Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
