They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
BRING THE BAGELS
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
