im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Randomize
