i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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