yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
