Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
