apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
