R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
