More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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