"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize