Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Is Oprah even human
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
